Cougars, MILFs and Matrons

Have you seen the recent pictures of Madonna? Or more specifically, have you seen the photos of her arms? They are gross in so many ways. Do men find this look at all attractive? I can’t help but think that they just might prefer a softer arm rather than one which just might be able to beat them in arm wrestling.

Personally, when I see the new pics of Madonna for some reason I keep thinking of a plucked chicken. Now that she appears to have no body fat at all she has crossed over from being thin to being just plain scrawny. The real problem, however, is that it was bad enough that you dieted and worked out continuously when you were in your twenties and thirties but now you’re supposed to keep this up in your forties and fifties and even sixties, if you check out the pictures of famous older actresses. Not too long ago 39 year old Jennifer Aniston posed nude on the cover of a magazine. Good for her and persnoally I think her ex Brad Pitt was nuts to trade her in for Angelina Jolie.

But what ever happened to the idea of the matronly look when you hit a certain age? I always used to read about the matrons who had acquired a certain look due to gravity, age and good food and it was a look that was very accepted in society. But today, instead of being able to have that matronly image you’re now supposed to be a cougar or MILF.

Just to make sure I had it correct, I checked out the Urban Dictionary for their definition of Cougar which is “A 35+ year old female who is on the “hunt” for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar … gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path.” Examples of Cougars who have married younger men are Susan Sarandon, Joan Collins and Demi Moore.

If you are married, and hopefully not looking for a younger man, then you’re supposed to strive to be a MILF which the Urban Dictionary defines as “mothers, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physical attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them.”; hence the acronym for Mothers I’d Like to F… Nice, huh? One example of a MILF is Katie Holmes, but again, I think she has crossed over the line of thinness to being skeletal.

But it doesn’t stop with Cougars or MILF’s either. We’re now being bombarded with images of 60, 70 and even 80 year old actresses who are still working out and starving themselves to present an acceptably thin, toned look. Good grief! I mean have you seen these pictures of Raquel Welch at 67 or the queen of plastic surgery Joan Rivers (76) or Joan Collins, also 76 who continues to look sexy and glamorous. And then there was 83 year old Cloris Leachman dancing away. Don’t we ever catch a break? Are women going to have to hit the gym for their whole lives? Don’t we ever get time off for good behavior? Isn’t there a point when we can say enough already and let our bodies do what it is fighting to do since we were 20, which is to droop, sag, widen and bulge.

I’m not even sure the stores still make the underclothing to help bodies which have aged naturally. Do stores even sell girdles, that necessity for older women before the 1970’s? You could say that in the 1960’s and 1970’s we went through that “let it all hang out” philosophy. This was replaced with Jane Fonda’s workouts to whip women of all ages into shape. It was just our bad luck that unlike parachute pants and big hair, exercising is one craze that never died out. And of course, 72 year old Jane Fonda still looks great. You may not like her but damn if she doesn’t look great for her age.

And that is the key - age, older woman are trying to deny the fact that they are old. And that is a shame. I am truly sorry that society will most likely never go back to the old days where men appreciated the older woman who had a bit more curves than her younger counterpart. For when we can easily erase the lines age has etched on our faces with in a few minutes with Botox then there is no hope that society will ever value the experiences and wisdom those lines represented.

As I wrote this I have been wracking my brain to come up with a single famous woman who has allowed herself to age naturally. Finally, I thought of one example, although tellingly she is not an actress and never had to make a living based on her looks. My idol for ageing gracefully is 84 year old former First Lady Barbara Bush. Now here is a lady, in the true sense of the word, who has allowed the world to see every line, every crease on her face. And regardless of what we thought of her husband, almost everyone fell in love with her. We wanted Mrs Bush to be our grandmother, our mother. So forget trying to be a MILF or Cougar, I would be just as happy if I could be as happy and peaceful in my body as Mrs Bush was with hers.