My Hurricane Diet

I woke up this morning to discover that not only do we have our first named hurricanes of the season, Anna and Bill, but a third tropical storm popped out of nowhere in the Gulf. So what had been a nonevent, hurricane wise, all summer, suddenly has started with a bang.

Yeah! Not only does this mean the start of the hurricane season but for me it also means the start of my hurricane diet. If you have never heard of the hurricane diet, don’t feel badly. Although I founded it five years ago I haven’t told many people about my new diet.

Actually, I should have known that we would finally have our first hurricanes of this season during this weekend. You see on Thursday I did something that I haven’t done in a long time – I went grocery shopping. I dislike doing this and avoid it if I can. In fact in the 90’s when I worked for casinos where I could eat for free, I figure that in a four year period I walked into a grocery store no more than 5 times. My life has changed such that I have to feed myself which means an occasional trip to the grocery store.

I needed moral support so a friend went with me to the grocery store where I spent a whopping $67 on food. Now my freezer has more than a bottle of Absolut and a stick of butter and my refrigerator even has things in the meat and crisper drawers! So it comes as absolutely no surprise that we are now surrounded by Anna, Bill and a third tropical storm in the Gulf which seemed to have appeared overnight. Granted the first two may fizzle out before getting to the coast and the third will hopefully head towards the peninsular but it is still a reminder of what may come over the next few months.

So what is the hurricane diet? It was created out of necessity during a very active hurricane season in 2004. Like this weekend, I had just gone grocery shopping and had a full freezer and fridge when hurricane Charlie hit. As hurricanes are prone to do, this one ignored the weathermen’s’ predictions and at the last minute ramped up in strength to a Cat 4 and then swerved right and landed not in Tampa as projected but further south. Then it took a totally unpredicted course of running straight up the state and right over my house!

OK, as I was lucky and escaped damage I have to admit it was pretty cool. My family moved to Central Florida 30 years ago and this was my first encounter with a hurricane. Yes I was scared as I “hunkered down” in my bathroom but at the same time it was pretty mind-blowing to hear the weatherman state that “the eye of the hurricane is now directly over Altamonte”, the town where I lived. How awesome is that? But then my power went out and the wind kept blowing and trees falling and rain pouring down and things seemed a bit scarier.

After three days without power and with temps in the mid 90’s I figured that the food in my freezer and fridge was no good so I emptied it all out and threw it away. I started to think about refilling it but then came hurricane Francis during Labor Day weekend, landing on September 5th. This one came in on the east coast between Palm Beach and Cape Canaveral and yet it still angled upward such that she, too, came straight for my house. If it weren’t for the killer winds blowing down trees which then crashed into houses it was almost boring. Plus I have to admit that with Charlie there was a kind of initial novelty of having a hurricane in your backyard. But twice in a matter of weeks was a bit too much.

So imagine our utter shock in finding out that a third hurricane was now coming. We watched with total relief as Ivan missed Central Florida completely. It hit on the 15th with very destructive Cat 5 winds and as sorry as we felt for the folks in Mobile we couldn’t help but be glad it wasn’t us. However, as we were all watching Ivan, nobody realized that Jeanne was slowly building out in the Atlantic. And slowly was the word for Jeanne. It first developed around the 13th yet didn’t make landfall until the 25th. At this point we were all definitely over hurricanes; and waiting around for Jeanne to hit didn’t help. Following the exact same path as Francis, Jeanne slowly made her way across the state of Florida and for the third time in 6 weeks I had a hurricane pass right over my house.

A side effect for me of Charlie, Francis and Jeanne was that I lost weight. This wasn’t a planned diet and I didn’t even realize until the end of the 2004 hurricane season that I had lost 12 lbs! So how did I do it? Well, once I threw out the bad food in my fridge I then kept putting off filling it back up again. Why bother? Every time I thought about going to the grocery store there would be talk of another hurricane heading my way. And who wants to spend all that money on food when you might lose electricity for a few days as I did with each hurricane. So what did I eat? I am not really sure. I think I reverted to previous times when I would eat something for lunch at work (although now having to pay for it) and then I would skip dinner or perhaps have a bowl of cereal.

Now that we have Anna, Bill and no name Tropical Storm 4 then it is time to implement my hurricane diet. I just wish I knew what it consists of so that I can do it again! On the other hand, having just filled my fridge I am tempted to eat everything now before I get hit with a hurricane and have to throw it all out. But I do know that binge eating isn’t a part of the diet. I suppose that the key to my hurricane diet isn’t in avoiding carbs or fats or starches but by simply avoiding food entirely! And the best way to do that is to keep your refrigerator empty so that you won’t be tempted to actually eat. So who knows, perhaps someday my hurricane diet will be the next fad. Unless of course, those who are following the Mother Hubbard diet get noticed first!